When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
