Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
