how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
one two three fourrrrnication!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
