i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
