Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She even gives head with a lisp.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
