We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
