Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
