So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
