epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
