I can tuck mytits in my pants
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
