I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
