I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
