Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize