I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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