I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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