I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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