I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
is wine microwaveable?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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