seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
