4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
