I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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