her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize