Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
