Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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