i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
