it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
