if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
