i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
