Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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