and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
why is half of my head shaved?
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