He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
