i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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