he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
