There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just high enough for therapy.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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