Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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