Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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