I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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