This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
