she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
