He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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