its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
