before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
