i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
