you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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