I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
