is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
