kristin has been a bad kristin
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
