dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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