"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
