Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
