I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
nutella sex= disaster
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
