Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
