Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
