i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
