She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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