Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
