No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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