If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
