there was a trapeze. enough said
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
