I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
