Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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